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Hey, how you doin'? What if I told you that you could travel through space and time for a highly competitive price? Now you're saying "what's the catch?", am I right, or am I right? Well, that's the best part, my friend: no catch, no consequences, no questions asked.
I'm Captain Yesterday, inventor, entrepreneur, and all-around family man... presenting to you, the Yesterizer (patent pending), your one-stop-shop for all things today, tomorrow and yesterday. I'm offering you a one-time only, once-in-a-lifetime, not-even-for-my-mother 100% discount on a journey through time. You see, ever since I started rolling these things out we'd have a few... complications, shall we say. We're talking sick people flying out of holes in the ground. Far from ideal, I'm sure you'd agree. If you take care of them, and I keep selling time machines, bingo-bango we're back in business.
And hey, if all goes to plan I'll even sell you your own Yesterizer. Pretty neat, huh?
